I'm in a new office. I have a new job. I have a new boss. I haven't been anywhere new in Lord knows how long. I'm not the kind who can just open up to anybody. I'm quite the introvert really and often people think I'm a snob. I've even been called arrogant and snotty. But that's just the way I am. I'm very transparent towards people who know me, but for people that I've just met, I would be considered rather aloof. I don't really warm up easily.
You could only imagine how I felt when I moved from my old job to my new job. But as I confided in friends and family, I realized most of what I felt were quite normal. So here they are for the benefit of those who might be in the same boat I'm in:
- Uncomfortable. You'll come from a place where you practically knew everybody and (well in my case) almost everything there was needed to know about your job. Naturally when you've stayed in a place long enough, you inculcate all that you need to know about the job - if you didn't you'd probably quit. So the transition is going to be uncomfortable. Having to start again in a new place with new tasks surrounded by new people. Unless you're more like some of my friends who can just as easily converse with new acquaintances, you'll feel that very awkward feeling of being out of the loop. It'll get better though as you get to know people and just absorb the company's culture.
- Humbling. As I've mentioned I came from a place where I practically knew everything there was needed to know about my job. And so moving to a new office where I'm required to have the same skill set, the same knowledge base and expertise as my previous position is quite humbling because starting out in a different industry means that I had to go back to square one as novice. Had to accept that practically everyone around me knew just a little bit more than I did and that I had to accept correction from people above and below. Personally, I don't mind being corrected and criticized that I can take. It's the "not knowing" part that really bothers me - maybe because I'm management, I feel like I should know these things and I feel rather irresponsible if I don't
- Insecure. This is probably just me because I feel I have so much at stake, having a child and all. But insecurity doesn't just mean I don't have security of tenure, it's an overall feeling of not really being sure. Half the time I don't know what I'm supposed to do so I tag along with more experienced members of the team. Where I work now, people don't take it easy on you because you're new and there is no such thing as a learning curve allowance. Here, it's swim or sink. I just try to do the best I can in hopes that my work meets their standards. But the fact that I'm new makes it very difficult to even be aware of these standards. That's where the insecurity comes to play.